If artificial intelligence were a beach party, Africa would be sitting in the car park under a palm tree with a glass of coconut water in its hand, while everyone else danced barefoot on the beach with technological cocktails in their hands.

Why yes: AI could save crops, bring doctors to villages, promote democracy and maybe even perform the miracle of creating a bank that doesn't rob you. But only if someone really decided to open the doors and give away some “membership cards”.

One of the dance parties of the moment is called the AI for Africa Conference, and it is being held these days on the sidelines of the G20 in Cape Town, which begins tomorrow.

For now, invitations to the party and its banquet remain the privilege of the few.

Africa has less than 1% of the world's data centres. 1%! The rest of the world speeds along digital highways that we can only dream of glimpsing the lights of. Only 32 countries have specialised data centres, and of these, the two superpowers, the United States and China, occupy 90% of the space and machinery. As for African talent... well, 5% actually have access to decent tools. The rest? They can watch videos on YouTube and practise clapping their hands to the beat of the future... watching the party from afar, from the windows of matatus.

But all is not lost. Africa could still turn this tragedy into a farce, or at least a comedy with a decent ending. All it needs to do is play its five AI cards right.

1. Computing and infrastructure

Computing power is the new oil, only it doesn't smell and it doesn't get your hands dirty. Without local GPU clusters and data centres, Africans will remain those little freaks who dribble barefoot with avocados on clay football pitches, while digital stadiums continue to welcome technological advances.

Europe has already put $8 billion on the table so as not to miss the boat.

Africa must ask for funds, partnerships, transparency and regional collaboration, and stop settling for digital crumbs. But it must receive this aid directly, not through corrupt rulers and companies controlled by the usual suspects. Otherwise, it will be the eternal re-enactment of more or less veiled consensual neo-colonialism and the joyful scramble for digital power that global giants throw at us like tourists throwing sweets at children on the savannah road.

2. Data governance

Data is the food of AI. Here, however, it is scattered, poorly preserved, or stolen like apples from a tree in the suburbs. We need ethical management, solid laws, regional data commons: places where data can grow healthily and bear fruit for everyone, not just for those who collect it with white gloves and sly smiles.

3. AI for local languages

If AI only speaks English and Chinese, millions of Africans remain silent in the face of the revolution. Projects such as the Zuzi chatbot, which speaks South African languages and helps women who are victims of violence, show that yes, we can have technology that listens, understands and respects. Instead, we risk remaining in digital silence, invisible like the ghosts of our languages online.

4. Skills and literacy

Computers are not enough. We need people who know how to use them without being fooled by the glitter of numbers. We need to introduce AI into schools, universities and professional courses. And explain to the public that AI is not just a fad: it can save you, or crush you. Better to get to know it before it gets angry.

5. Security, ethics and governance

And then there is the dark side: electoral interference, disinformation, job losses, digital pollution. We need clear rules, mandatory controls and African security institutions. Otherwise, AI will become the new wind that sweeps away those without power, leaving only those who already rule.

Coming soon, the AI for Africa conference following the G20 in Cape Town aims to transform promises into concrete tools and ensure that Africa does not use AI only like a child playing on a PlayStation or an online gambler who gets cheated out of their few pennies with a modern re-edition of 16th-century Portuguese trinkets, but that it can manage it as a real force for its own people. Do you believe it?