Freddie's Corner

IRONY

Interview with an Italian pensioner from Malindi on the 'Mattei Plan'

Considerations between 'tax setting' and blood...

15-03-2024 by Freddie del Curatolo

There is a lot of talk, not only in Italy but also in Kenya, especially among compatriots living there, about the 'Mattei Plan for Africa' that the government officially launched last February during the summit with African heads of state held in Rome.
Among those who consider it a restyling of international cooperation, among detractors who consider it an 'empty box', we of the portal of Italians in Kenya also wanted to listen to the opinion of the Italian who has chosen to live in one of the pilot countries of this new approach with African countries, the opinion of the man in the street, or rather in the case of Malindi, the man on the beach and in the bar, strictly Italian.
And it is here, in front of an espresso coffee (clearly offered by us, an exchange stone for the interview) that we find him.

Good morning, may I ask you a few questions about the Mattei Plan for Africa?

"About whom?"
"The Mattei Plan...the government's programme for a new approach to African countries"
"Ah look, on the approach of Africans, especially female Africans, I am very well prepared. On the government, I really liked it at first, then they all start doing the same things..."
"What do they do?"
"They don't lower taxes and they don't increase pensions."
"Eh sure, whatever...but the Mattei Plan is something else...it's a new way of helping Africa to help itself...living in Kenya would you have any suggestions?
"That they remove the double taxation on pensions!"
"Taxation...excuse me, but what help is that for Kenya?"
"Silly...it is a big help, because if they don't tax my pension, I have more money to spend here for them. And I am not the only one, for example between Malindi and Watamu we are at least a thousand pensioners. And if they take away the pension tax, we will become many, many more. A friend who was in Portugal called me and told me that without the double setting he would also come tomorrow. We live better here, people smile, they are helpful. The important thing is that if you get a little richer you don't have to let them know...Can you imagine if we were ten thousand pensioners with more money to spend? We'd buy more fruit, more vegetables, fish, we'd go to restaurants, even non-Italian ones...that we sometimes go to, you know? What about the tuk-tuks, the boda bodas we get every day? The sarongs on the beach? The bracelets?"
"Sure, you'd lift the economy...but how many bangles do you buy on the beach?"
"Well...I have some, look here, I had this one made with the Kenyan flag on one side and the Italian flag on the other, I even gave it to one of my girlfriends..."
"Do you have many girlfriends?"
"Let's say I get by, I don't like to tie myself down, I already have two marriages behind me in Italy, luckily I'm a widower of one...Here, think, if they didn't tax my pension I would have even more girlfriends, think if there were ten thousand of us, these young people would have more money, even to support their families, send their children to school..."

"Eh, right...speaking of young people: Italy is one of the oldest countries in Europe and Kenya one of the youngest in Africa, how can we mutually benefit from this situation?

"By buying them blood"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Yes, we build nice modern clinics here, which they also need because the hospitals here suck and the private ones cost millions, and we get our blood injected...you know how the rich people in Europe do it. Here, however, there is clearly a problem..."
"Eh yes, more than one, I'd say..."
"That first you have to see that they're not sick, you know there's so much AIDS here, then what they eat..."
"Ah, that's it...and what do they eat?"
"Everything, even insects, they fry them to save on potatoes."
"Saving money? Kenyans are cheap?"
"No, no...I didn't say that...let's say they prefer to spend the money on other things, like mobile phones they are crazy about them. Maybe they live in a mud hut, but they have a nicer mobile phone than mine."
"So, in your opinion, the Italian state should make a deal to exchange blood with the people of Kenya"
"No, not exchange...and what do they do with our blood...we can buy it, have it injected and in return we give them some other things, which they need"
"And especially what do the Kenyans need, in your opinion?"
"Mah...shoes, yes shoes because many don't even have shoes and almost all of them have half broken shoes and only one pair. Then eyeglasses too, because many don't see well but they don't even know it, and then they have accidents."
"So they give us blood and we give them shoes..."
"That might be an idea, I say they fit..."
"I thank you for giving me some of your African time and giving me your impressions"
"You're welcome, and thank you for the coffee. It costs 20 shillings more in this café than in the others, but I think it tastes better, don't you? Ah, what did you say the name of the piano was?"
"Mattei...Mattei Plan for Africa"
"I'll go google it, come on maybe they'll take this setting away from us!"

TAGS: pensionatiimposizionesatiramattei

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