‘Hi Grace!’
‘Hi Janet, what's up? Mambo Poa?’
‘Poa, poa my friend...how was the beach party last night?’
‘Bah, the usual chubby guy was there, the balding one who puts on gallons of aftershave...he bought me drinks all night, he even waited for me when I went to put the old Swiss man to bed...two services, four thousand shillings...these days that's not bad.’
‘Ah no, not at all...everything here has gone up, from nail polish to hair extensions.’
‘That's right darling, usually to bring home four thousand shillings I have to go with the younger ones, and those are half perverts. I wish it was enough for them just to go to bed...they need to tell you about themselves, tell you stories, and then they're all over you, asking you about your life...but fuck me and shut up! And you, what are you up to, cougar?’
‘I...eh what can I say...I have a regular one now.’
‘Nah! But tell me you at least cheat on him once in a while.’
‘At first yes, of course...but now I'm starting to feel sorry for him...’
‘Oh dear God! And how old is he?’
‘About the same as my grandfather...but he's still fit you know? Every morning he goes for a run on the beach and he always manages to get one in bed anyway.’
‘Well, with the little blue pill one is the minimum...’
‘If only one was enough... a little pill, I mean! But Hermes isn't like the others...’
‘What's his name?’
‘Hermes, why do you know him? Has he been with you too? Don't tell me...’
‘Ooooh, stop it Janet! Are you jealous? Or maybe he's really rich...’
‘Not rich at all...he doesn't have a penny. He doesn't even have a car, he always takes the bajaj and even argues about the price of the ride.’
‘Then why is he so special, that he becomes your boyfriend?’
‘He's a kind man, he's considerate, he doesn't stress me out. He spends hours waiting for me at the hairdresser or when I visit my sister, and he never complains. He eats what I like and doesn't make me go to restaurants and order that disgusting stuff like raw fish or those horrible sea monsters...’
‘The lobsters?’
‘Eh, yes...those.’
‘Terrible, I too was once forced by a mzungu...I drank so much prosecco on them that I ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out. I mean you like him.’
‘Well, no come on...how can you like a white guy and a bit wrinkled to boot...I don't see any better ones around though. He doesn't wear nappies for incontinence, he doesn't smoke and so he doesn't go wild from morning to night, he can still hear well so you don't have to shout when you talk to him, he's not one of those racists who every other day get pissed off at our people. He even speaks a bit of English and doesn't expect me to learn his dialect, he doesn't introduce me to his friends who then offer me stratospheric amounts of money to go with them, just to fuck him up...You know what I'm saying, he really is different from everyone else.’
‘Bloody hell, honey, I think you really are falling in love...with Grandpa!’
‘I don't know, but with him I don't feel like pretending, I feel a strong need to tell him the whole truth...’
‘What truth Janet?’
‘That I am not a student from the University of Nairobi who came on holiday to visit his sister...’