Freddie's Corner

FUNNY STORIES

When the beautiful Watamu... makes you lose your head

(Ironic) warnings about the top destination on the Kenyan coast!

20-11-2023 by Freddie del Curatolo

Those who have never been to Watamu, the only African seaside destination that brings together Italians and the rest of the world, Generation Z and boomers, young ladies to husbands and young husbands, cannot understand why it has quickly become a reference point for the fulfilment of the innermost, but also most immediate desires that spring from the human soul.
Especially in the area of passions.
Watamu is not only one of the most desirable locations for international tourism, but also a place where even in such a dry and complicated historical period, love and beauty triumph!
Watamu is the ultimate in relaxation, rejuvenation, rejuvenation and even rejuvenation!

Trust me, by choosing Watamu, if you indulge too much, you have a 90% chance of falling in love with one of the situations listed below!

1. (ALMOST) ALWAYS IDEAL CLIMATE

The exotic destination is always beautiful, no matter what.
You arrive from the cold, and there is an enveloping warmth, if not a beastly heat!
The tan is assured, the peeling probable, the burn not a remote possibility.
Come the heat, there is a refreshing breeze in Watamu, the sky is wonderfully cloudy and you can wear a jumper in the evening.
Burns and sunstroke are even more likely, because you have not felt the former UVA rays (here they are called 'papaya rays') and the heat of the day.
In the evening the mosquitoes, if you don't take precautions, will find you crispy to the touch!
Arriving? Watamu has the ideal climate!
But maybe avoid 'black november'...


2. SELFIE SEA

Crystal clear, blue, with the tide coming and going and changing the scenery every day.
With starfish going to their creator thanks to beach boys taking them out of the water and dumb tourists imitating them for selfies.
Selfie in one of the picturesque bays with rocky islets and green foliage behind, selfie during a marine safari to the sandy atolls, selfie with grilled fish included in the price and the rest of the holiday many selfies in the comfortable village pool admiring it from afar, to stay away from the beach boys asking you for a selfie.

3. KENYANS GOOD PEOPLE

One smile, one tender request for help.
Two smiles, two tender requests for help.
Three smiles, three tender requests for help.
Four smiles...help!
The cliché says: "They have nothing, yet they are happy"
The cynic murmurs: "They are happy to see us tourists, because we are their hope"
The wise man concludes: "At least they are hoping for something good, smiling"
Long live the Kenyans of the coast, with all their faults!

4. FOOD, LIGHT-BODIED DRINKS

Tropical fruit is wonderful, don't overdo it (slight toilet risk)
Fish and shellfish are very fresh, don't overdo it (slight toilet risk)
Iced cocktails, don't trust the ice (high toilet risk)
The local restaurants in the shacks, they cost very little! (toilet almost assured)
The advice? Do everything in one evening, so you only go to the toilet once and for the rest of the holiday you enjoy it!

5. THE FLORA

Bougainvillea of all colours assaulting you, colouring your heart!
White frangipani that conquer your sense of smell with their fragrance!
Palm trees that shade you and dance in the wind, thrilling you
Centuries-old baobabs that open their branches embracing your soul!
Algae on the shoreline tickling your body
Leaves with an unmistakable smell offered to you outside the disco
Climbing plants invading the walls of your prison cell


6. THE FAUNA

One-coloured schoolgirls who assault you, stealing your heart!
Black handsome men who conquer women with their prestige
Dancers who pamper you and dance at beach parties shaking their asses
Age-old flatteries that open up scenarios of harmonious cohabitation
Serpents between the sheets that tickle your senses
Dreams with unmistakable curves that seem to turn into reality
Leeches that suck the skin... of your wallet

In conclusion, Watamu awaits you and you cannot disappoint, but be prepared not to live it too lightly!

TAGS: watamusatiraironiafreddiebeach boys

The satire and irony of Freddie del Curatolo and the musician and his sidekick Marco "Sbringo" Bigi...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

One last show to close the season and to hand over to the Italian non-profit organisation Karibuni the fruits...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

by redazione

The "Festival di Sardegna Due" has reached the halfway mark, continuing to explore with a smile...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

by redazione

Freddie and Sbringo, i.e. Malindikenya.net director Freddie del Curatolo and Marco Bigi, musician, composer...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

Place a restaurant with a terrace overlooking the Indian Ocean in the middle of the Malindi ...

READ ALL THE REVIEW

by Leni Frau

After the positive evening last Tuesday at Tamu Beach (former Stephanie Sea House), in the...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

The grand finale of Freddie and Defrost's music cabaret tonight at Baby Marrow is a parade with the...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

by redazione

Two evenings more unique than rare, as Freddie and Sbringo's newly released album...

READ HERE

by redazione

A Sunday night in Watamu for Freddie and Sbringo, who propose the worst of their repertoire...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE

by redazione

"Malindi, Watamu earthly paradises, meeting places and loves that are never troublesome. Maybe...

READ ALL THE ARTICLE