This is the transcript of a phone call received in Kenya by myself from an unknown number.

‘Good morning, Mr. Alfredo Curatolo’ (the “del” is missing, but that is my name)
‘Good morning, who am I speaking to?’
‘My name is David, I'm calling from the Communication Authority of Kenya’
‘Ah, please go ahead’
‘Can you confirm your passport number? It's Y... (the number is correct).’
‘I can confirm it if you tell me the reason for your call first.’
‘There is a double registration of your Safaricom SIM card, which is illegal and we need to fix it.’
‘Otherwise?’
‘Otherwise, we will have to block your card immediately.’
‘Oh well, go ahead then, I'm going back to Italy tomorrow anyway.’
A moment of silence.
‘You're going back to Italy? But your card can't be blocked... Look, I'm sending you an unlock code to your mobile and one to your email freddie... (the email address is correct too).’
‘What do you mean, you said you were blocking it? Go ahead, I don't need it anymore.’
‘But you'll get into trouble.’
‘What trouble, excuse me?’
‘Your number could be used to commit crimes.’
‘Even if you block it?’
‘Yes, because there's another one in circulation with your name on it.’
‘So what? Can't you block that one too?’
‘That's what I'm asking you to do if you give me that code.’
‘No, I don't give codes over the phone.’
A few seconds of silence.
‘You may not be able to leave tomorrow. We will report your refusal to the police at the airport.’
‘For a phone card?’
‘Yes, it can be very serious.’
‘Then I'll go to the police right away and report this.’
‘No need, look, we can do everything from here.’
‘I told you I'm not doing anything over the phone, so first I'll go to a Safaricom shop and give them your number and ask for information. Then, if they confirm what you told me, I'll go to the police.’
His tone becomes threatening.
‘Safaricom doesn't know about this, it's our investigation. You're taking a risk...’
I interrupt him.
‘Ah, the SIM card is from Safaricom but they don't know anything? And the police don't either, I guess.’
‘Exactly, not until we notify them.’
‘This is a really important and dangerous situation then.’
‘Exactly... look, you're getting a new code from Google, if you give it to me, we'll sort everything out.’
I clear my throat.
‘All right, you've convinced me, David.’
Silence.
‘The code is... F-U-C-K. Fuck you... David, but congratulations on your acting. Let me know when they arrest you, I'll come and visit you and we'll have another fun chat like this one!’
I hang up and block the number. Over the next 10 minutes, he tries to call me three more times.